We've Got Your Back
by Leo-firefly
Summary: Everyone dislikes the new recruits at S.H.I.E.L.D. So when said recruits are more frustrating then usual, it's up to the Avengers to knock them down a peg. And by knocking down a peg, the Avengers actually mean pranking the recruits to no end. If one of the Avengers dislikes you, you better watch your back, because the others will be coming after you soon. "We've got your back."
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Nothing is owned by me :( Except for the recruits :)**

**Clint is _fiercely_ protective of both Natasha and his old handler. Any insult to them is an insult to him.**

_Dodge, dodge, swipe._

_**Crack**_**.**

"Oh. My bad." Natasha said.

"I thought," Clint gasped, "I thought we were being a little passive for today's spar?" Cradling his broken wrist. "I wouldn't have taken that half-paced swing if I'd known you would have retaliated like _that_."

"Yeah, yeah, 'm sorry. But you've never sparred with a broken wrist before now, have you?"

"Glass half full, Tash."

"Whatever." She twisted and sent a kick towards his shoulder. He moved to block it with his hand, before realising his mistake. Instead of letting the blow fall on his sore arm, he twisted and ducked, coming up behind Natasha's leg. He grabbed her ankle and spun her, throwing her to the ground.

"Give," she said.

"Mmhmm," Clint grinned, "You're getting slower," he teased.

"I was being passive."

"Whatever."

After another few rounds the two assassins began to gather a crowd. Mostly it was recruits – the new batch that had come in recently – but Steve was there as well.

There were only a few people not watching, and that was a small group of recruits sparring on the other side of the gym. Once this small group realised the attention of other people wasn't focussed on them, they looked up, annoyed.

They strutted over, one of the bigger recruits in the lead.

Just as Natasha threw a particularly nasty punch towards Clint, after he had just started to stop blocking with his broken wrist, the recruits arrived.

The hit smashed into Clint's broken wrist. He hissed. "_Fuck_, that's a bit...sore."

The recruits snorted. "Who is it?" Natasha had her back to them. Clint took a quick look at them, looking past Natasha. She naturally didn't take a swing at him. No matter how dirty she might be in actual fights.

"Some recruits. James McRae, I think."

"I can't picture him. Switch?"

Clint nodded. "I'll go over."

Natasha ducked down and kicked out with her right leg, trying to swipe Clint's legs from under him.

Clint jumped over her, tucking his legs and rolling when he hit the ground. Now Clint had his back to the recruits, and James. Natasha, whilst still on the ground, turned to look at him.

Screw being subtle.

"Ahh. I recognise him. What a douche."

"Huh?" They continued fighting.

"He drunk _all_ the coffee the other day from the machine."

"Oh _no-he-did'nt!" _Clint snapped his fingers as he dodged a blow.

"Shut up_._ I _really_ wanted some coffee that day."

"OK, OK. I give. I'm getting tired. You mind if we stop?"

"Not at all," Natasha smirked.

As Clint turned to pick up his towel, he heard a snort and someone sneer, "Tired already? We've been fighting for twice as long as you today."

Clint and Natasha looked up simultaneously. Clint laughed. Natasha snorted. Other than that, James got no response. The two assassins had already continued clearing up when James continued, "Seriously though. How can S.H.I.E.L.D's 'two best assassins,'" he quoted with his fingers, "be tired already."

"Uhhh, yeah. So we just got back from a mission about, what," Natasha looked at the imaginary watch on her wrist, "half an hour ago. We're leaving because we need to be debriefed, not because we're tired_._" She smiled, harshly.

Clint smirked, his eyebrows raised and a half-smile on his face.

"Prove it. If you're not tired, then keep fighting."

Clint laughed, and the attention was brought to him. "This is ridiculous." He started to leave, moving towards the entrance. Unfortunately, James and his crew was in the way.

"Move, please." Clint said. He didn't look up at James – who was quite a bit taller than him – instead keeping his eyes trained on the ground to avoid further conflict.

"Sorry, I didn't hear that."

"Move, please." For Clint's credit, his tone was exactly the same.

"Look at me in the eyes and say that."

Clint smiled. "No thanks. I need my eyes to be undamaged, for when I actually go out into the field." Clint was taking a guess that James still wasn't allowed out on missions, despite the promise to himself that he wouldn't listen to gossip around S.H.I.E.L.D.

James glared at the archer.

"At least when I start going on missions I'll have a handler. Rumour has it, none of the agents want to take you on." Apparently the gossip in the headquarters wasn't only about James.

Natasha stiffened beside Clint.

"Trust me, kid. You don't want handlers. They're a pain in the arse," Clint said. "Not that you'll ever get a chance to go on field missions. Not with your file. S.H.I.E.L.D needs _competent _agents," he remembered teaching James and other recruits at the firing range. He had had to read their file, as he was going to be teaching them for a while, and so he remembered the scores in every case.

"Now please, _move._"

When James didn't, Clint sighed and started to move around him. James sidestepped to stand in front of him again.

"I'll get into the field sooner or later. And when I do, I'll make sure not to go on a killing spree in my own home base," James said flippantly. Clint's eyes narrowed dangerously. The archer could feel Natasha stiffen by the side of him.

Clint didn't reply, this time stepping around James quickly and heading for the door, Natasha next to him.

"Look at the two assassins go, everyone." Steve, still in the crowd though off to the side, could tell no one in the gym really liked James or his group.

"Now we're just waiting for red-head to crack. Then we'll have two traitors with us, that for some reason, Fury just doesn't want to cut loose." Clint froze with his hand on the door. Natasha was muttering in Russian. "_Don't listen to him, Clint."_

Just as Clint had unfrozen and got the rage in him under control, James continued.

"Phil would have agreed."

Clint tensed, and turned slowly.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me," James said cockily. "What are you going to do about it? Cry to your handler? Oh wait..." he smirked. Clint walked slowly towards him.

When he was face to face, he growled, "Don't you _ever_ even think about insulting Phil. Insulting Tash, well, that's stupid but fine; she can handle herself. But now that you took a swing at Phil, I swear to God, I'm going to make your life here a living hell."

James, seemingly oblivious to the line he crossed, said, "What are you going to do about it then?"

Clint smiled, dangerously, "Nothing, so long as you never even _say _Phil's name again. I don't waste my time on people like you - unless it's a job."

Natasha put a hand on Clint's shoulder and pulled him towards the door.

Steve saw it first.

Natasha sensed it second.

Clint acted third.

The archer swung around and blocked the James' punch with his good hand.

He twisted the recruit's arm painfully. "Leave while you can, kid."

He let go, but didn't turn his back on him again. James stood up and kicked Clint sloppily.

Clint's eyes glittered dangerously, and James felt his stomach twist in fear. They stood facing each other, James breathing heavily, Clint not even having broken a sweat.

"I don't ever want to see you again around here. Stay out of our way," Clint hissed.

Natasha growled, "And pick fights you can win."

"Fuck off, you whore," James growled back. "You didn't...you didn't even do anything," he panted.

Natasha's nostrils flared.

Steve groaned – this guy didn't ever know when to give up, did he?

Clint didn't say anything. He just twisted onto one foot, and struck out with the other. His boot connected heavily with James' temple, and the recruit fell down, unconcious.

As the two assassins slammed the door behind them, Steve stepped out.

Everyone was surprised that he raised his voice.

"I am _sick _and _tired_ of everyone giving Clint so much trouble, for something he wasn't even responsible for," referring to the agents Clint killed. "From now on, if you insult him, you're insulting all of the Avengers. And we will _not_ tolerate it. So watch yourselves, because from now on, we will not take anymore of this crap." Steve followed his two comrades, leaving the gym in silence.

When Fury later found out about the incident, he called Steve, Clint and Natasha to his office.

"Now, we heard there was an incident in the gym, and now one of the recruits is unconcious in the hospital, with a concussion. I ask you now," Fury paused, the three still standing at attention, "What it justified?"

The surprise that Steve, Clint and Natasha had didn't show on their faces.

"Yes," Natasha answered.

Clint nodded his affirmative.

They looked to Steve. Both the assassins were hoping Steve would say yes.

"Of course," Steve said. Fury looked surprised, as did the two standing next to him.

"Fine," Fury concluded. He trusted his agents, and if Steve thought it was justified, then who is Fury to say they can't knock some manners into some cocky recruit? They're going to cut him from the course soon anyway, with scores like his.

"Dismissed. Actually, wait. One more question."

Everyone stiffened. "I understand he's a dick, but what did he do?"

Neither Clint nor Natasha really had an answer that was justified. Luckily, Steve answered for them.

The soldier cleared his throat, "He drank all the coffee, sir."

**Sooooo. I started this at 11:30 ish, and finished it at 11:52, so ummm, no judgement.**

**I'm considering having an ongoing story about the Avengers pranking the recruits, focussing mostly on Clint, Tony and Steve working together against mostly James, though other characters as well. What do you think?**

**Review pretty please?**

**:)**


	2. Chapter 2: Spiders

**Disclaimer: Nothing, as usual, except for the recruits!**

**Sorry about the language.**

"Wait, what's his name again?" Tony asked. Scanning down the list of classified files. _Classified, my arse. I'm Tony Stark._

"James McRae." Natasha replied.

"Ugh, too many names! I can't be bothered. JARVIS?"

"_Yes sir?"_

"I can't find James McRae in this list." The screen zoomed down and a name was suddenly highlighted.

"_This James McRae, sir?"_

"Yeah. Thanks JARVIS."

"_Not a problem, sir. Can I ask why you have hacked into the database for a recruits file?"_

"No, JARVIS, you cannot." Tony said, his eyes glued to the screen.

"_My apologies, sir."_

Clint had currently gone for a run on a treadmill on one of the various floors of S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters.

"Ahh, here we are. Phobias. Why are there a list of people's phobia's in their file?"

"S.H.I.E.L.D likes to 'train' agents so they won't be compromised if someone finds out their fear."

"Why did you emphasise train like that? What do they do?"

"Intense 'training', Stark," and she left it like that, refusing to elaborate.

"OK then. So, his fears: Heights – ehh – bees..._mummies_? _What_?"

"Huh. Some people have strange fears Tony. What else?"

"Umm.." he continued reading. "Spiders?"

Natasha nodded, "That'll work."

"What have you got in mind?"

"Nothing big."

"Hey, Science bro!" Tony hollered as he strolled into his and Bruce's lab. "We need your help."

"Oh yeah?" Bruce looked up, amused. "Who are we pranking this time?"

"Am I that transparent?"

"Yes."

"Oh." Tony sniffed.

"Mmm." Bruce laughed, "Who's 'we'?"

Tony dropped the mock-sadness, "Natasha and me. See, there's this guy; James McRae-"

"Ahh. The recruit Clint beat up a while ago. I treated his concussion."

"Yeah, him," Tony wasn't impressed he was interrupted.

"See, seeing as you treated him, we were thinking you could get him to come in for a quick analysis, by you. Like a check-up."

"And?"

"We're not sure what prank to pull once he's in here. It's a work in progress."

"Do you have any plan?"

"He's scared of spiders...? Any ideas?"

Despite Bruce being perhaps, besides Steve (and the fact that he turned into a 'raging green monster' as Tony put it) the most level-headed of the Avengers, he was still fiercely protective of his 'time-bomb' crew. If Tony was doing this for Clint (even though he seriously enjoys pulling pranks anyway), then this guy probably got what was coming for him.

"Uhh, fine. Can you bring me a rubber spider?"

"Yeah. We can do that."

"Good. This guy better deserve it Tony. This isn't going to be nice."

"I'll get the cameras ready."

After Bruce was brought his rubber spider - and frankly, Bruce was alarmed by the speed Tony returned with it – he was left to work.

Mixing some light paint up, and setting up the lab ready for the prank, he paged James McRae to come in ASAP for a check-up.

He trusted James would come in quickly, because Bruce was a respected scientist, and (occasionally) doctor.

Sure enough, it was only a few minutes before James turned up.

"What's up, Doc?" the recruit laughed at his own joke. Bruce really disliked this guy.

"Oh, hello James. I just thought it would be smart to have a quick check-up, make sure your still OK."

"I'm always OK." James defended. Bruce rolled his eyes.

"That's not what concussed James thought." The recruit turned a heavy shade of pink.

"Anyway," Bruce continued, "it's just a quick check-up." He looked around, "I actually had Clint in here before you," he lied, peeking over his glasses to look at James' expression. "I just had to check up on his broken wrist. Where's his file gone anyway?"

Bruce turned his back on James, knowing full-well that the file was on a bench top right next to James. He heard, "I found it – this one right?" It was hard to miss it with the blaringly red stamp: "CLASSIFIED" across the cover.

"Yeah, probably. Hang on, I just have to find a pen, then we can get the check-up done and you can be out of here in no time."

Now Bruce was just looking around, 'searching' for a pen, waiting for James to open the file to read (supposedly) all about Clint.

Just as he turned around, he heard a shriek.

James had indeed opened the file, only to release the pressure on a spring, that launched a spider onto his face. The recruit shreiked. Bruce ran over to him, and looked at James. "What happened?" Bruce asked, feigning worry.

"There – there was this – this massive spider! In Clint's file!"

"What? You looked at Clint's file?"

"Yeah – I mean – no, no. I didn't mean to!"

"You didn't mean to look into a highly _classified_ file, about an _Avenger?" _Bruce questioned. "Is the stamp not obvious enough for you?"

Tony, watching all of this through one of the many cameras in the room, snickered. But it wasn't as amazing a prank as he thought it would be.

"It's just – no, I mean, Clint is such a -"

"A _what_, McRae?"

"Nothing, I – just," James moved sideways awkwardly, trying to get towards the door. As he moved, his foot pressed against a wire, which opened a can, with a very much alive, albeit harmless spider inside. It scuttled up James' leg, and James in turn looked down. He shrieked – again – and when he wasn't looking, Bruce quickly burst the bag of green pain in each of his sleeves. The paint rolled down his arms quickly and covered his hands.

_Now for Phase 4, _Bruce thought.

The tripwire had pushed a lot of vials and containers off the workbench (harmless chemicals, but James didn't need to know that)

Bruce started breathing heavily. "Get out of my lab. _Now," _he growled.

James looked back at Bruce in horror, "Dr. Banner? Are you-" he noticed his hands and paled visibly.

In one of the TV rooms, Tony, now having been joined by Natasha, Clint and Thor, laughed uncontrollably.  
When Bruce started roaring – quite convincingly as well – James made a sprint for the door.

Steve and Clint, after a competition to see who could last the longest on the treadmill (Steve won, obviously) walked past Bruce's and Tony's lab to hear roaring. They quickly ran to the door, where they could see through a window, before James McRae suddenly barged past.

"Get out of my way!" he shrieked, rather girlishly.

Steve and Clint looked into the lab, just as James turned down a corridor and was out of sight.

Bruce looked up and smiled. He lifted one green hand and waved, "Hey guys. You just went to the gym?" he asked casually.

"Ahh, yeah." There was a confused expression on both Steve and Clint's face, before they both caught on. "Say, is that green paint?"

"It sure is. Oh, and can you help me find a huntsmen spider, that is somewhere in this lab?" He gestured broadly, with his (somewhat faded) green hand. "You know, it turns out that James McRae is _intensely_ scared of spiders. And the Hulk, apparently." Bruce smiled, non-chalantly, and went back to cleaning his hands. "Oh, and mummies, I think Tony said."

Steve just shook his head, smiling. He didn't really know what to say.

Clint was equally as stunned. Who knew that the Avengers – particularly Bruce – were pranksters?

Steve finally spoke up, "Any chance you got that all recorded?"

Bruce smiled, "Every second."


End file.
